Anon 3:

Anon 3 sent:

Hi there,

I have been a night watcher for many years and has had a vast experience in this field. I have have worked for many people over Australia and can be at your bedside within 8 hours. I do understand your situation and would love to ensure you get a good night sleep.
In terms of the costume, I would prefer to stick feathers to my forehead as owl costumes makes my sensitive skin very itchy. Though by saying this I will not leave your side during my shift. I will come prepared with an in-built catheter so my toilet breaks will not interrupt your sleep. There is only one thing I ask is that I only eat uncle toby roll-ups bars as muesli bars interferes with my bowl. I have attached my résumé and photo with feathers on my head for your perusal. Thank you for your consideration.

Reply:

Hello,

Many thanks for your very generous response. I am sorry to hear that you have sensitive skin. I also have sensitive skin which is why I couldn't just wear the costume myself. I did try to stick a few feathers around my bed to soothe me but I found them creating small embedded rash lumps when I woke up. It was very distressing - can you sympathise?

I also don't think you need to go as far as a catheter. I think that is rather extreme. If you would like, I will let you hold my cat, Cathy as a token of my appreciation.  Cathy is a very good cat but her behind is extremely smelly. I have tried to wash her but I only get halfway through before I start choking.

Are you available for an interview over the next week period?

One more thing, I cannot offer you a roll-up as I am highly food-conscious - would half a banana be an okay substitute. I have one in my fridge but he might be a bit brown by the time you eat him - is that okay?

Susan.